I'm sure all youwinker-niblets would love to know where old man Strago has been these days that have now past. we'll I am sure he would love to tell you, but first before he speaks I have to say something. I, Strago Magus of Thamasa, refuse any attempt to be remarried. I have told the Thamasan Herald many times that even if the marital vow declares "death do we part" I am not a fan in believing that a mere low-life white mage can decide my fate with my lovely, Bruttelda. What a jewel that woman was... a passionate heart of a cactuar, but an explosive temper of a bomb. That Pennela, what a firecracker she was. So that's what I told these little boogers when I was stopped in front of the mall yesterday. They told me that according to the marriage vow I am no longer legally married therefore I am not allowed into the premises of the mall. I called fiddle-diddlery!! But they merely turned around and just gave me the cold shoulder, but it seemed more like the Ice 3 shoulder. So now I am looking for some bride or should i just say a "bride" to keep these dwarvin marital imperialist happy. Any takers for a snazzy, cool cat like me?

Where was I you asked? Well I got a dove from my a third source that my granddaughter, Relm. Apparently was spotted in the 9th world in this town named Treno. So I decided to pull out my lucky traveling trousers and ahead I went to over to this Treno. Now certainly I had no idea what that young pup was up to, and so I asked some of the locals if they had any idea where if they saw a little girl with a red hood . A lot of the low lives in the town just snickered at me, but according to some other low life told me that they saw a young girl selling art at the auction house, and apparently some of the art was going for more the 100,000,000 gil. "What in the great blazes!" I thought. My own little girl is making a fortune all on her own, selling pieces a of paper with paint on it. What a girl. But she still needs a a lesson in manners or two for disobeying her grandfather. But it looked as if she had already left the scene. Just bagged her piles of gil and ran off.  So that's when I came back here to find that I am still without my granddaughter and without a job until I can get married. What is a man like me to do? 

WHaa, huh?? May I proceed to ask WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZES IS ALL THIS Ratta-Tat-TIppi-tap muddle that is going on this week. Thank the magi that I live in a secluded fortress or else some people would have to deal with a harsh reckoning. That's right, I would have to kick it old school on their sorry manholes. Well never mind that, I have some important news to relay. You see sometimes the media these days never give you a clear cut report. They always have to razzle and badazzle it to make you feel like you are getting the whole scoop. When in reality, truly they just have mislead your sorry manholes into thinking you got the whole scoop. Well I'll scoop them a number or two!! The News ain't what it use to be, back in my day, we had only one type of medium for the news. And that was talking to your local villagers. Couldn't get any more than one thing out of them. Usually it would be something like, "Welcome to the Town of Thamasa." Poor Roger, he was like a broken mimic. Doom to repeat the same thing over and over. UNTIL... i say until, some sort of cataclysmic event happens. Like for just a fair example, Kefka tearing the world apart and becoming the god of all magic. But Roger kept on saying, "Welcome to Thamasa," that poor soul. You see, there is something your younger generation lacks, you young fellers don't know how to take a  nicely grilled hot dog with grey poupon mustard,   am I making myself clear here? Its right next to the ketchup.  All you have to do is squat your little manarses over to the condiment section and scrape a little on your dog?! Is that Sparky enough for you?

Oh yes my news, got a little side tracked didn't I? I can't seem to find my red cape anywhere. Now I can't seem to find it anywhere. I could have sworn the last time I saw it was when I took it off at work, to change into my workers uniform. I sure hope its okay. Sure had some good memories with that cape.......
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huh, what? Where am I ? Relm where are you? That girl is as troublesome as always. She will probably be back before supper. Better go summon up a feast. Roasted leafer and coleslaw.

Just got a new buzzie-box rolling. These contraptions sure are the darnest things. It was just the other day, I was looking up the Magipedia (so now all you younglings know  that I'm still with it) when out of the blazes, some doodle-daddle was summoned in front of me, it read:

"Norton Antivirus has detected malicious files on your computer. Would you like Norton to remove them?"

This Norton fellow doesn't seem to know that I keep my files in my safe depostit next to my bed. So despite his request, I hit the 'cancel' nub like just about 100 times, that's when my buzzie-box transported me to a blue screen of peril!!!  OhhHH my, the gruesome sight of it turned my hair white. I guess I'll just have to get use to my new white hair. So anywhys, the darn thing was petrified from there out., and my buzzie-box would still be down until that gunblade kid... Squash, I think it was... helped me out. What a nice, young man he was, apparently he told me that I needed to go buy a new computer, but to make sure that it had an apple on it. I don't know what that apple does, perhaps it has some sort of virus ridding enchantment implanted on it.

  It's been a skippy week, a skippie week sure'E. Too much has happened for one man to contemplate about in one sitting while on his buzzie-box contemplating about his week. speaking of which, it has come to my attention that a RrrRambunctious lady-boy is visiting the mall. He seems like a seems like a whatcha call it...a smack daddy playa, not sure what his motives may be, but he sure likes to hang around at the Group Room while I am doing my own business there. He complemented me on my nice hair-do. I told him it was only a temporary do, The white pigments are sure to revert back to my beautiful golden blonde hair, and then I proceeded to inform him about my broken buzzie-box tale. It sure seem to me he had a wink of an idea what I was talking about. Most people these days never seem to listen.

Since my first day of working at the hot dog stand I have noticed that I am not able to use my fire magic even if I want to. Nor am I able to use any magic of any sort for that matter. Maybe I am out of MP? Well Darn'nabbit, I forgot to stock up on ethers. I guess I'll have to go sometime without magic until I grab me a refreshing glass of sweet, soothing ether.

Well, i have to go take my my nightly arthritis potions or else I'll never be able to type again.

I made it through my first couple days at work at the Hot Garden Dog. MMmmMMmmM, now those are some WwwWWwwhackily spackily darn gooood dogs. They got a good kickeroo to them. And I think I'm already up to par with my hot dog conjuring technique to all 'em long haired,  kiddos. Except I got this long haired, girlie boy, Vayne telling me some poppycock WwWwwishwack. Apparently he doesn't agree with my use of fire magic to heat the dogs to a most delight eating temperature. Apparently the customers are complaining that their dog taste like a over-charcoaled tire kabob. So i have be told that I can no longer use magic and instead to use this fancy sSsSchmancy rotisserie hot dog machine."Oh dawgnobbit, Ain't anybody got any sense in 'em anymore?  And what of it? Does this WwWwwindy whippersnapper think he runs the show? WHY he wouldn't know a good dog if it hit him on his side while sitting on a cardboard wrench, Ain't that the truth? well, unlucky for him, Old Man Strago will be still be making some good ol' hot frogs just the way good people like 'em.

I think this Quina fella got some loose gems in his skull. What goes on in that  critter's mindbucket there just ain't no telling. But he sure knows his monsters like the back of a flan's skull. I am pretty sure this is the beginning of good friends. 

Now'a what be all this ruckus about this beatball game you fries been a 'tooting about. watching one of those games made the hairs on my mohawk shoot up like doozie daisy. As you kids have been saying, that game sure be' the bomb.' It just exploders right in your face. Now I think I am getting a knick for your kid's monbo-jombo words I think I might have to get my feet wet and pull out the ol' Strago snorkeler suit . I'll be needing a snorkeler set right? yes sir-ee this game will be a piece of butterdoodle crumble. I think I'll help myself to a bit of ol' famous Thamasa's butterdoodle crumble now.

let me first introduce myself as just a modest old timer.  This modest old timer will kick your ba-toot back to the Magi War if you cross his path. yahehehehe. (Still got it in me) Actually I am quite as stable as a door knoblet. No harsh reckonings to you young folks, you will find that to this day and age I am still 'quite with it.' My mind is as sharp as an envelope opener, and I have seem some pretty prickly envelope openers in my time. Now that my introduction is all set in crust let me elaborate on what a WwwWWwily day that has passed me.  Maybe some of you young rascallions may know, I have a most dear to me granddaughter, Relm. A sweet girl, but never seems to understand the primal rule of "thou respect thou's grandfather." I sent her away to a nice art school in the town of Jidoor. She would be practicing the finer arts of the world, or atleast so I expected until I got a dove bearing the most unsettling of news since my trouser pants ripped while I sat on a WwwWWwily chocobo. (Never understood nor was too fond of those critters) The message read:

" Dear Grandfather, This place is a fuddie-duddie. I"M LEAVING.

Love, Relm

P.S. DON'T COME LOOKING FOR ME, OLD MAN"

"What the firagous blazes," I thought . I have never seen sucha rebellious nature in the girl.  We'll there was that time she completely underminded my order to stay in Thamasa when I went to Thamasa Cave to look for some espers of a sort. But this is rRRubbing tarnish to my ears!!  No matter, I am the Strago Magus, slayer of beast, Hidon. I can manage to find a girl in a muliple plain universe. Piece of snickerdoodle.

But not only that, The truth of the matter is that I intend on study all sorts of new monsters in this darn fiddle-faddle universe. So anywhys, thus I started the hunt ........................................................................................



......................................to whip the living dickens　out of that girl, but as I continued on, I guess I stumbled upon this mall through my rRRrroundabout ways. Perhaps I will stay here and look for my granddaughter. She may be a WwwWWwWwily one, but she has the brRrRains of a  wart puck, that girl. (Ahh the wart puck, a most astute foe indeed.)  Perhaps I may find her in this pimpin' mall. (Isn't that what these young'ns are saying nowadays?) While I am here I plan on finding a malboro or some mad oscar of a sort in order to gain the ability of "bad bRrrRreath". I intend on using that move on Relm when I find her. That'll teach that  WwwWWwhippersnapper some manners.

I just found my way into my new rRRrResidence in this, whatcha call it now, ehhhh....Jitt's Burrito. Nice place to find  unseen monsters in order to complete my score of monster lore and abilities.


Well its time for Pappy Strago hit the ol' tabby'vault, if you know what I mean. DUhahahahaha! (oh these young'ns don't know a good  joke if it smelted their innards shut, don't you know it?)


P.S.
Aren't these triangles just the darnest things. They tickle a wink of my toe-whiskers every time I see them.